Day 122

by markvnathan

My Dearest Xxxxxxxx,

I have no choice but to consider the fact that I’ve lost you. I have no choice but to accept the fact that we have nothing left between us. And although you don’t seem to admit it, we both know this to be true.

I’ve made my mistakes with you, I won’t deny it. Patience hasn’t really been a strong point with me these past months, I won’t ever say otherwise. The pains of trying to fix it all, is overwhelming. I don’t know if I should even try.

My days are difficult without you. But I swear, I try ever so hard. I really do. It’s an uphill battle every single day, but I push on. I pray I find strength to know what needs to be done because I can’t go on like this for long.

As I sit by another bottle and look out into a dark sky, my face is illuminated by the burning glow of my cigarette. As the smoke fills my lungs and the whiskey burns my lips, I feel but a temporal relief.

I open my eyes and nothing has changed. It’s been a week since I’ve last slept, god knows I’m trying to find my peace.

 

Yours Always,

Mark

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