Day 109

by markvnathan

My Dearest Xxxxxxxx,

I spent my day not in solitude, but in company. Reconnecting with what I left behind was comforting, it was necessary. Things have not felt this normal in a long time, I truly did miss it. I had myself believe that I had lost it all, I had never appreciated what I had before me.

The voices I never expected to hear again, had returned. I had failed them repeatedly, yet they never left. I chose to hide. I chose to push away the ones I love from the very monster that I had become.

I spent so much time loving you, that I had forgotten what needed to be loved. I spent so much time caring for you, that I had forgotten the ones that had cared about me.

My heart still bleeds, I am in no better than I was yesterday. But day by day I gain my will. Day after day I gain some hope that I will be alright. I must believe this. I need to wake up and realise my stupidity. My dangerous addiction has proven to be a dagger, sharp and unsheathed. It takes but a slip to prove costly.

I want to take back what I have lost. I want to rebuild what I have destroyed once again. But like I made myself new, I will start all things anew.

Yours Always,