My Dearest Xxxxxxxx,
No matter how hard I try, I realise now, that this will not be an easy task. Staying away from you is difficult. Drink after drink and I can barely see, I can barely write. I had enough focus, enough strength, to drag myself on the cold streets back home.
Night after night, I dream of You. It never ends, no matter how hard I try. As I slip in and out of consciousness, I tell myself not to fall asleep. I tell myself that you will be waiting for me once more. I cannot bear to see you, not tonight.
A broken heart is a death sentence. One I would not wish on the most evil of men to endure. A trial I wish not to face again. I will not survive another round of this. A second time and I will fear for my sanity.
Living this life of fear is not what I would do. But fear has become a part of me. My joy has turned to sorrow, my voice is lost. The lump in my throat refuses me the necessity of saying your name. I need to say it just once, it’s the only time I will ever hear your name these past weeks.
God I wish you would turn back to look, just once. Is it so hard for you to comprehend? Have you not experienced Love? Do you not remember the heartache that comes with it?
I ask all these question knowing that you will not answer them. For the truth is, you don’t know. You haven’t so much as turned to look at me, not once. You have not turned to see how far behind you’ve left me. You probably have not even thought of me once.