Day 105

by markvnathan

My Dearest Xxxxxxxx,

I have kept myself occupied in every aspect of my life. I hardly have time to rest but I am in the best physical state of my life. I’m keeping myself distracted, but no matter how hard I try, it’s the small moments in my day that make it all more difficult.

It is the walk to the office, the ten minute showers, the silence on the balcony as I look out into the pouring rain. These moments are where my weakness takes me whole.

I can’t talk to anyone, I can’t face the people closest to me. I don’t know what to do any longer. Staying away from You is unbearable. Every day, I stare at the phone, knowing that you are but a call away. Every day, I wait for a call I know will never come.

I don’t know what tomorrow brings, but please don’t let me face it alone.

I was saved tonight with a comforting voice from abroad. She is a good friend I have made of recent. It was unexpected, but I needed it. She cannot imagine how much of an angel she has been and tho we are thousands of miles apart, I have never felt closer.

Tonight I look at things a bit differently. Tonight I realise, not everything this love has brought me has been grief. It has brought me some happiness as well.

 

Yours Always,

Mark

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