Day 103

by markvnathan

My Dearest Xxxxxxxx,

I am slowly losing grip of all that I have held on to. I have gotten so far without you these past weeks. Silence has been my closest companion, separation, my saving grace. I am struggling to understand what it is that I have done. Why I repeatedly get myself into a predicament of such. A question I am unable to answer.

My eyes don’t see the world the same way, not any longer. No beauty compares to yours. No song, to your voice. God I miss you. I miss you and it hurts so bad. My world has no colour, no air. There is light, but no sun, the moon is but a myth. My world is bare without you and I lack the strength to change it. My hands are cold and I can no longer feel the warmth of the sun. As the rain falls, I cannot experience the joy I once had.

One person can make a difference. You are that person. I can’t go on like this.  I know I can’t have you, yet I hold on to a glimmer of hope. A glimmer I can’t seem to see, but I feel it so deeply. I feed myself with lies, just to breathe. That is not the life I want to live.

As I sip on a cup of tea and I close my eyes,  I slip into a reality not of this world. A reality where there is an Us. I do it but for a minute. I do not wish to lose my sanity, but merely give me strength to pull through this day.


Yours Always,