Day 85

by markvnathan

My Dearest Xxxxxxxx,

I cannot explain what happened to me last night. I think it was all too much for me to bear. The amount of strength it took to reach out to you, I feel the pains of it today. I needed to stay away from you, but I only made you more essential to me.

That stops. Right now.

As I jump on another plane to get away from it all, I am left with a revelation. It was not my fault. I had to stop blaming myself for the very mistake, that was not something in my control. We do not choose who we fall in love with. Most of all, we cannot control it.

I accept the fault that was a flaw in my character, one I needed You to show me. I realised when I was with you, I was pushy, always in constant need of your affection. Someone I know, that I am not.

I accept the fault that is mine. That is loving you like no other. A mistake I made once, but never again. You didn’t need that love, not from me. Finally, I accept the fault of forsaking all that was truly good. The biggest mistake I made with you.

Now that I have accepted my faults, my imperfections. I begin my adventure to becoming a better son, a better friend, a better man. I am stronger than I was yesterday. I am stronger on my own.

Know that I never needed You. I just wanted you.

Yours Always,