Day 81

by markvnathan

My Dearest Xxxxxxxx,

I have truly become a monster. My emotions are out of control and I have taken them out on you. My problems, my faults, the brunt force of it all, I threw at you once more. You did not deserve it, not a single word.

The past few weeks for me has just been difficult. I have tried again and again to sort it all out, but I have only made things worst. In my attempt to get closer to you, to gain your trust, I have only damaged it further. You have no reason to believe my word, or my promises, not any longer.

I almost feel like I have damaged our relationship beyond anything, beyond fixing. I find it hard to comprehend how you can tolerate me, how you allow yourself to take so much from me. I have caused nothing but trouble and I have done nothing but waste your time.

I don’t know where this is going now, I don’t know what will happen. I don’t know if I am ready to face the consequences of my actions, my words. Whatever it may bring, I know I must take it standing.

I know I can’t bear to lose you, I really need to brace myself for the worst.