My Dearest Xxxxxxxx,
It was this day, I will remember always. The day I felt like I was once again a child of twelve. As the hours counted down, my heart raced. It raced hard and fast. Adrenaline, overwhelming emotions, yet absolute calm.
My hands trembled, my face pale. The rush hit, like a drug, and I was sent into a tumble of emotion. Physical weakness, merely a side effect of what seemed to be the end of me. Surely darling, I was silly beyond understanding.
Those were the many emotions, leading up to the moment that I finally fixed eyes on you.
Then, we met. You were as beautiful as I remembered. Your face still kind, that smile, still as electrifying. Your eyes still put me in a spot. One I always struggle to get out off.
I know you not enough to understand you or what you are thinking. But I am not afraid of you, not anymore.
I revealed to you the endless nights of torture I brought upon myself. I revealed my pains, my struggles, my guilt. My wish was not to place on you any more than I could, any more that I should have.
I admitted my undeniable vulnerability with you, one I can’t seem to get past, one I can’t seem to understand.
You were kind, understanding and patient. Most of all, you finally understood. You comforted me in the smiles, as I struggled on each and every word. You didn’t say much, but the little that you said, gave me peace.
I realise now, I don’t have to do this alone. I realise now, I never lost you.