My Dearest Xxxxxxxx,
I didn’t see this coming, a twist, a spanner in the works. My heart skipped a beat, maybe it was two? I can’t quite remember. This is crazy, I can barely place a finger on the exact emotion that I feel right now.
I don’t think I’m ready, not for this, not for you. I can almost border insanity at this very moment.
The joy, is from knowing i’ll see you in days. My confusion, from not knowing how I feel about it. The pain, from our memories, the bits I try to let go. The fear, from the unknown.
Excitement and doubt, a burst of adrenaline, a pinch of uncertainty, the perfect formulation for the disaster that I was today.
My mind is exhausted, my heart needs rest. I choose not to spend the night in the isolation of my mind. I wish not to fuel my thoughts with the drink of a bottle. Instead, I choose to calm myself. I look to the sky and close my eyes.