Day 54

by markvnathan

My Dearest Xxxxxxxx,

My days are getting longer. My labour, tougher by the day. It’s days like this where I am heavy, where I find the need to lie on your lap as you run your fingers through my hair. I’ve never experienced those moments, not with you, not with anyone.

The truth is, I push and I push until I defeat myself. I choose to be victorious by defeating the man I was yesterday. Every day a new opponent, myself. Every day, a new challenge, a new man.

He is like a skilled gladiator. He anticipates my every move, my every emotion, my very thoughts. It is draining, it has the ability to incapacitate the strongest of men. But I do it. I do it to be a better man.

Ever since you walked into my life, I have pushed harder, I have shown myself no mercy. When you are around, it is bearable. When you are not, I lack the words to describe the feeling as anything less than devastating.

I need you today. I’m not ashamed to say it. If I am not granted this before I lay my head to rest, I pray for strength.

Yours Always,