Day 49

by markvnathan

My Dearest Xxxxxxxx,

I hate that I’m addicted to everything about you. I hate that my heart skips a beat when I hear your name, when I so much as think about you. I hate that I can’t live my life, that I can’t move on, it feels like we’re not done. I hate that we left so much unsaid, so much undone.

I hurt, because I can’t say what I feel. I hurt because you destroyed me, and you don’t even have a clue. I hurt because I don’t matter, not to you, not even a bit.

I hunger, for every bit of your affection, every moment you give me. I hunger for what I wished for, for us, just for us. I hunger for every memory, every conversation, all those moments of laughter. I hunger for your smile, your eyes, your embrace.

I shudder with fear, everyday, glancing occasionally into the unknown, hoping for a future with you. At moments, I would settle for anything. There are moments, I wont settle for anything less. I’m conflicted as to if I should miss you or let you go. I’m conflicted if I should love you or loathe you, unlike before.

But I still miss You dearly.

Yours Always,