Day 44

by markvnathan

My Dearest Xxxxxxxx,

I find myself waiting on you again, It’s silly, but the smallest of messages, anything. I wait by the phone hoping it would be you. My heart takes a leap when your name appears. Why do I hold on so hard? I seem like I never want to let go, but it will crush me. I want to give up on you, I know I have to.

I don’t know why it’s so hard. I don’t know why I hold the faith of a child, one of six, when his father tells him it was going to be alright. I don’t know why I linger on every message as a sign of hope, a flare in the eyes of a man, lost at sea. I don’t know why my nights are filled with hopeful dreams, ones of pure fiction, emotion beyond understanding, as you come running back to me, and I wake up to tears in pain.

Pulling myself away from you has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure. I try, god knows I do. But I am only as strong as I was the day you left. The tears still run down my face, I wont lie, it hurts in a different way every day. 

Come back, or don’t come back at all. It’s your choice, I don’t have the strength to make it.


Yours Always,