My Dearest Xxxxxxxx,
The long nights have finally taken their toll on me. I lay here in bed, with my eyes barely open, unable to move a muscle. I truly have punished myself these past months. The consequences of which I now bear.
I have destroyed myself completely. I have left but my name and a memory of you. I have no past, no present, my future, hazy. I have questioned my morals, my achievements, my outlook on life.
The set of rules I have stood by so strongly, now another book on a dusty shelf. I have cast everything aside. Loving You has been the biggest lesson I’ve had to learn. The more I do, the more I learn, the more I hurt.
It is necessary, it is essential. I do not enjoy this, but I do not have a choice. Another day passes, so does more of me.