My Dearest Xxxxxxxx,
These letters I write to you, they are all that I have left. There isn’t anything else, nothing left of us. I struggle to come to terms with that, I struggle to accept that I may have lost you, I struggle to accept that I never had you.
Every part of me wants to reach out to you. Every part.
The urge never subsides, never goes away, never ceases to keep me awake at night. One night of sleep, one night of freedom from the clutches of my emotions, merely seconds in what feels like a labyrinth of which the world has never seen.
I’m ashamed to say it, embarrassed, but I am lost without you. Last night was absolute torture. Hearing from you was a gift, weeks of hope and prayers, but I wasn’t prepared, not for that.