Day 30

by markvnathan

My Dearest Xxxxxxxx,

This is my thirtieth letter to you. It is a marvel that I’ve made it this far. I have gained nothing, but I am losing everything. I have pushed away everyone I loved, everyone that I care about.

I failed them. It may seem that I am the way I am because of you. But the truth is darling, it is my fault. I know now, the moment we start taking the blame for our actions, we can start to fix them.

I’m afraid that I have broken a few things. Things that I can never put back together. If I do, it will never be the same. I’m a fool. I have been for the longest of times. Every emotion I expressed, every tear I shed had a consequence.

Days have passed, but I find myself no closer to letting you go. I have tried with all my might, but I stand here defeated once more. But I will keep trying.

I return home tomorrow. I can’t run away, not like this. I must face my fears, my reality. I must return to what is mine, what I love. And I must do this without You.

The truth is, I’m afraid to face it all alone. And now, I truly must.

I still love you with every bit of my broken heart. And I’m still yours.